Excerpt from the play:

SETTING: The Kingdom of Far Far Away

911 OPERATOR: (bothered)
911 What seems to be your emergency?

FAIRY GODMOTHER: (frenzied)
Hi, this is the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella is missing! I would like to file a missing person’s report.

911 OPERATOR: (to the audience)
Not another one of these late night lulus.
(Back into the phone)
Okay, lady, calm down. How long has this Cinderella been missing?

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
Well, she was supposed to return home from Prince Charming’s Ball at the stroke of midnight, but she never arrived.

911 OPERATOR:
What time is it now?

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
12:30am.

911 OPERATOR:
You’re telling me that she is a half hour late from returning from a Ball at the Prince’s castle and you already want to fill out a missing person’s report? Give me a break lady.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
No, you don’t understand. We had a deal. She was to return back home before the clock struck 12, or else her gown would turn to rags and her carriage would change back into a pumpkin pulled by mice.

911 OPERATOR:
Seriously lady? Maybe you need to get more sleep. This is the emergency hotline. Give us a call back in 24 hours if she hasn’t shown up by then. (under her breath) A mice-pulled carriage, what a loon!

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
But I know something is wrong. Can you please just send over a unit to the Prince’s Castle and see what they can find out?

911 OPERATOR:
Okay, I’ll see who’s available at this hour of the night. Go to the castle and wait for a detective.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
Oh, thank you, thank you! Bippity Boppity Boo a glass shoe I will make for you!

911 OPERATOR:
Thanks, but no thanks. A glass shoe is a useless idea. Go to the castle and wait for a detective, like I told ya.

FAIRY GODMOTHER:
On my way

(FAIRY GODMOTHER hangs up and runs off.)

911 OPERATOR:
What a piece of work. Seriously, a glass shoe?